It seems a group of sadists-who-shall-not-named have decided to make 2021 2020 again.  They wanted to start things off with a dumpster fire to end all dumpster fires.  And you know what is weird?  I didn’t even hear about it until late in the day!  That’s right, mama preschool is almost completely disconnected from the fabric of technology!  Almost!  That’s right you can send your kids to mama preschool and I’ll disconnect them from electronic entertainment and throw books and crafts at them like my sanity depends on it.  (And as an added bonus you’ll experience an uneasy feeling that a sleep deprived narcoleptic is watching your child.)

So, anyway, while I was not watching the Capitol dumpster fire, I was instead teaching Julius about the valuable subject of coconuts.  You heard me right – coconuts.  Books on coconuts, coconut crafts, coconut opening, coconut cooking, pretty much all the things you can do with a coconut.  Why coconuts you may ask?  Because I have lost my mind.  That’s right.  Last week was all about coconuts, and this week is all about tea parties.  Valuable.  Life.  Lessons.

With coconut week I may have accidentally overplayed the significance of coconuts in everyday life.  For example, witness this conversation, spurred by my remark that we needed to take down our Christmas tree (because it is a fire hazard).

Me: [to Will] We desperately need to take down our Christmas Tree.
Julius: Because it's not Christmas time anymore? 
Me: That's right bud. 
Julius: Because now it's Coconut time?

As a side note, do you know how hard it is to find library books about coconuts?

Well to counteract my crazy I’m going to show you a craft that is far more practical than coconut boats!  A mask lanyard!  And not just any mask lanyard, a geeky mask lanyard!  I have had this idea for many moons, but didn’t actually implement it until the very beginning of December.  This is one of few crafts that Will, Julius and I have all done together and I think it was a hit with everyone.  Just yesterday Will came in from a walk and held up his lanyard saying “this thing is the best”!

Check out this sweet lanyard with my favorite mask!

Dice Mask Lanyard

What you’ll need: 

  • 6 assorted dice (I find everything but D4s work well)
  • 1 yard of 1/2″ satin ribbon
  • 2 1.25″x.5″ lobster clasps
  • drill with bits
  • yarn needle
  1.  First you’ll need to drill holes through your dice.  Place your die in a vice with one face facing upwards.  Be careful not to overtighten or the die could crack.  Starting with your smallest drill bit, drill a hole directly through the face of the die.
  2. Increase drill bit sizes and re-drill your hole until you reach LKSJDF.  Gradually increasing the bit sizes will prevent your dice from cracking (trust me).
  3. Repeat steps 1&2 for all dice.

    Julius wanted to help drill all the dice.

  4. Thread one end of satin ribbon through your yarn needle.
  5. Thread 3 dice onto the satin ribbon.
  6. Thread the lobster clasp onto the lanyard after the 3 dice.
  7. Thread the ribbon back through the first die next to the clasp.  Leave a tail about 7″ long and square knot as close to the die as you can.
  8. Thread the ribbon through the second die.  Again square knot.
  9. Finally thread the ribbon through the last die.  Cut the excess ribbon as close as possible to the die so it is hiding inside, then tie one knot with just the long length of ribbon to hold it in place.
  10. Repeat step 4-6 and then loop the lanyard around your neck.  Accounting for 7″ of tail, adjust the ribbon length to your desired length, keeping in mind that that mask will hang lower than the lanyard ends.
  11. Finally repeat step 7-9 for the other side of the lanyard.

    Or get your threenager to do the other side for you!

You’ll notice Will has a slightly different pattern for his lanyard.  I can post instructions on that if desired.  I had a concern while I was making it that the dice may be heavy and weigh down the mask on my ears.  I can confirm that the dice don’t pull on my ears and that it is extremely comfortable and convenient for me to wear the lanyard with my mask.

Wow, I look 3 weeks postpartum here. Oh right, I am.

Showing off that sweet, sweet lanyard.

Looks like it fits!

Lets crit this virus because I need undisturbed sleep.



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